I bear in mind describing myself as a really impartial individual to different folks. I lived on my own for a few years. I discovered easy methods to begin and cease utilities pretty early in my life. I loved going out with my mates or alone.
As I obtained extra snug in my relationship, I began to spend much less time with my mates. I at all times got here house when my husband obtained off work. I spent your complete night with him. When he went off to work, the lonely strategy of ready for him started.
There’re many obstacles that stop me from working or seeing my household proper now. The pandemic wiped off most of my plans for this 12 months, together with visiting my household who lives 14 hours away from me by aircraft.
I knew I relied on him for a lot of issues. He drove me round all over the place and it made my horrible driving even worse. He opened each jar I’ve encountered since we began courting. I discovered myself not even attempting to open it and simply handing it over to him. I felt like this was regular; we had been companions. We had been imagined to rely upon one another.
I spotted I had a dependency downside in the course of the pandemic. I relied on him to do all my bodily chores and carry up all my emotional burdens as properly. I projected all my anger and stress I’d collected throughout this troublesome 12 months to him. I discovered myself resenting the whole lot he did and does for me.
I stored telling myself I selected to marry him in my head, however I stored resenting him. For years, he’s been attempting to do the whole lot for me, together with coping with my feelings. I forgot easy methods to cope with myself as a result of I didn’t must. My husband handled my feelings. I didn’t must do something for myself. I simply projected no matter feeling I used to be feeling in the direction of him and he simply took it.
I’m nonetheless attempting to determine how I handled my feelings earlier than I met him. I in all probability by no means correctly discovered easy methods to. I’m attempting to determine it out now. As a result of I spotted that it wasn’t the wedding that made me sad, it was myself.
Generally whenever you really feel sad in a wedding, it is probably not your marriage. It could be you. You would possibly have to work on your self.