“When one door closes, one other opens.” That is the phrase that I stored ruminating on, operating time and again in my thoughts like a touchstone, as I began to return to phrases with the fact that I had simply been laid off from my job in the course of a world pandemic. The assembly was on a Tuesday, and I used to be instructed that Friday can be my final day. Three days. Three days had been all I needed to transition my initiatives, wrap up present work, say goodbye to pals and colleagues. In a approach, the quickly altering circumstances had been a type of blessing; it didn’t enable me a lot time to assume, so I needed to act, and I welcomed that distraction. It stored different, extra miserable ideas at bay, all these fears and what-ifs like a yawning pit that threatened to swallow me up if I allow them to.
I cried my tears, after all, till my eyes had been purple and swollen and mascara ran down my cheeks. Once I was first instructed the information, it felt like a intestine punch, like I used to be going to faint. I heard a ringing in my ears, black spots dancing throughout my imaginative and prescient. I’m virtually sure my mouth was hanging barely open, in shock and disbelief. No. This couldn’t be taking place. Why me? What am I going to do? So many questions swirled via my ideas like a maelstrom, and but there have been no solutions, no consolation. Despite the fact that it had nothing to do with me personally or my efficiency, I nonetheless felt a way of disgrace. I had at all times labored, and now, for the primary time in my life, I discovered myself unemployed.
Instantly after that assembly, I referred to as my sister, sobbing. I texted my closest pals. Survival intuition kicked in. I reached out to a couple recruiters that I knew, instructed him in regards to the scenario, and requested them to please maintain me in thoughts for alternatives they may know of. That very same night time, I labored on updating my resume and canopy letter template, up to date my LinkedIn profile, and began trying to find job openings.
Nonetheless, I prayed – to God, the universe, whoever would pay attention – to ship me a miracle, to let this all be a nasty dream, some type of horrible mistake. I used to be clinging to what I knew, to consolation, stability, the acquainted. Who wouldn’t, particularly in occasions as unpredictable and unprecedented as these? I had labored so laborious to maneuver my approach up inside the agency throughout my 5 years there, had not too long ago been promoted again in June and meant to make use of the pay increase to save lots of up for a possible transfer to Washington, DC. I assumed that issues had been going the way in which I deliberate, however that wasn’t meant to be. For this loss, I let myself grieve. Let myself be upset, apprehensive, scared, anxious, unhappy. I might let myself really feel what I needed and wanted to really feel on this second and within the coming days, after which I might transfer on.
Within the fantasy of Pandora’s Field, after the field is opened, Pandora manages to entice Hope inside earlier than it may additionally escape together with all method of distress and evil, hardship and sickness the gods had positioned there. The story goes that that is the rationale hope is the very last thing to die within the hearts of mortals when all the things else falters and fails, and thus life’s best reward of all was saved. Proper now, it definitely looks like each evil and illness (COVID-19, anybody?) has been launched into the world. 2020 has been a tumultuous yr, to say the least.
However that’s the reason we should maintain on to hope and maintain it alive. Within the face of a lot uncertainty, it’s nothing in need of an act of radical defiance, of the power of human perseverance. This story, my very own story, remains to be being written. I have no idea the way it will finish, or what the twists and turns will probably be, however I stay optimistic in regards to the future and this subsequent chapter. I’ve to. Such is the thriller and the messiness of life, I suppose. In order I modify to this new, short-term routine of wanting and making use of for jobs and scheduling cellphone and video interviews, I do know that hope, that treasured reward, will maintain me going.