Perhaps proper now I don’t want love. I don’t want a person. Perhaps I simply need issues which might be improper for me for the time being.
Perhaps I nonetheless have to broaden my horizons, journey throughout completely different oceans, meet extra individuals who will encourage me and simply have the liberty to select the place to go, who to be and what to do with out having one other human being distorting my good image.
Perhaps I nonetheless have to be taught extra about what sort of love I need. Do I need a conventional type of love? The one which’s secure and regular. Or do I would like an journey? A wild type of love. A love that may’t be tamed.
Perhaps I nonetheless have to know if I’m looking for love or if I’m simply attempting to grasp my coronary heart. Perhaps I would like extra time to determine what my coronary heart actually wants. Perhaps I simply have to cleanse my coronary heart from all of the injury that I’ve brought on and all of the cracks I stabbed in it. Perhaps I would like to like my coronary heart the best way nobody else knew how.
Perhaps I must be for myself the whole lot I’ve been asking individuals to be for me. Perhaps I must be my individual for now. Maintain my very own hand. Hug myself to sleep. Study to be my greatest fan.
Perhaps I simply want myself proper now as a result of anybody who comes on my ship would possibly drown. Perhaps I simply have to sail away on my own as a result of nobody is aware of find out how to information me. Nobody is aware of the place I belong.
Perhaps God retains leaving me alone for a motive. Perhaps he doesn’t need one other individual to distract me from myself. Perhaps he retains reminding me that I’ll by no means discover what I’m on the lookout for if I can’t discover myself.
See, I imagine there are two sorts of individuals on this world; those who grew up craving stability, security and safety and they’re those who marry younger. Those who by no means have issues discovering one accomplice after the opposite. After which there are those who grew up craving magic, journey, euphoria and they’re those who all the time wrestle; those who don’t know what sort of lover they need, those who all the time need love however don’t know what to do with it as soon as they discover it.
Perhaps I’m meant to expertise extra heartbreaks than love as a result of I’m my very own safety. I’m my very own security. I’m the one one who is aware of find out how to calm the chaos in my thoughts and heal the injuries in my coronary heart.
Perhaps I’m simply meant to kiss my very own scars as a result of I’m the one one who is aware of how deep they’re. I’m the one one who is aware of how a lot they harm.
Perhaps all I would like proper now could be me as a result of I have to work on the connection with myself. To repair the years I tormented myself. To fix the damaged items. To reshape myself. To redeem myself.
Perhaps for now, I’m the one for me as a result of I have to discover ways to stay with that — all of it. I do know I can stay with myself eternally, I simply want to determine find out how to take advantage of lovely and most significant relationship of my life.