It’s been a 12 months at the moment—365 days because you left me and shattered my coronary heart into thousands and thousands of items. Whenever you broke up with me, it blindsided me, sure, but it surely hadn’t been going properly for 4 months between us, and also you realized earlier than me that we didn’t belong collectively. You broke up with me, stopped speaking to me, acted like I by no means existed, turned my greatest pal towards me, and even began courting one among my associates.
You dumped me initially of summer season, so whilst you had been out partying with your mates, I used to be caught at residence, wishing I may disappear as a result of I felt so unloved and rejected. I used to be alleged to have this superior summer season with you, however as a substitute, I used to be alone. Did you understand how many occasions I had panic assaults earlier than going to work? Each morning. Do you know I assumed I may die from a damaged coronary heart as a result of the ache was so deep? Do you know that you just broke me utterly?
I cherished you a lot, even while you put me second on a regular basis, even while you advised me it was at all times my fault for all the things, even after I discovered you continue to talked to your ex. I cherished you for who you had been as a result of I knew you had been particular person, or so I assumed.
Round August, three months after our breakup, I made a decision to go on a date as a result of I wanted to take my thoughts off you. I went on a few dates throughout that one 12 months with out you, however none of it was like our first date. I used to be on the lookout for you in each man I met; I used to be on the lookout for love and affection, however all within the incorrect locations.
Proper earlier than Halloween, I fell out of affection with you. I lastly noticed you for who you had been actually; a person youngster with an habit to partying, getting drunk, and hanging out together with his associates. I then realized that I’ll by no means accept much less once more. I lastly began to take pleasure in myself with out pondering of you on a regular basis. Even when I used to be nonetheless harm by your actions, I knew I needed to choose myself up.
On December 31, proper earlier than midnight, I wanted for myself to be really completely happy and keep in mind the sturdy girl I was. I advised myself that 2020 can be my 12 months.
Being in 2020 helped me get out of my funk, and I spent January and February with new associates that I’ll perpetually cherish. I began faculty and obtained a brand new job, which made me tremendous busy like I used to be earlier than I began courting you.
The quarantine helped me notice that there are worse issues on this planet than my ex being a douchebag, and I wanted that to lastly recover from the truth that you had been courting one among my associates. Really, I wanted to lastly recover from the entire scenario for good. Even when I didn’t love you anymore, I wanted to cease being afraid to stumble upon you, particularly you along with her.
The solar lastly began shining. Spring is right here, and to me it implies that one thing new and delightful is coming. I do know issues will lastly be higher, and I’m excited for the longer term.
Might 2020. It’s been one 12 months with out you. I don’t know what occurred in your life since. I don’t know if you happen to’re nonetheless courting the identical lady or if you happen to nonetheless spend all of your weekends in bars, and to be brutally trustworthy, I don’t care. I don’t want you any hurt, as a result of I’m completely happy. I simply want you a similar.