I do know what I mentioned.
I mentioned that I don’t know what I really feel. That it’s an excessive amount of for me to deal with. And that I don’t need you in my life. But you didn’t let me go. You had been there for me no matter how laborious I pushed you away. You stayed put and fought for me till I made it unimaginable, so that you listened to me and let me be.
Then, years later, I bought scared. I selected to vanish — it’s considered one of my best methods. See, it’s all the time been my protection mechanism, a strategy to make myself really feel protected, to keep away from getting harm. It by no means had something to do with you — it was me. That’s my rapid response when issues are getting severe and too intimate. It was all out of concern.
I’ve all the time claimed that I might by no means ghost — it was my life’s motto. Nevertheless, I did that to you on extra events than I can depend. I might go on and on explaining how I used to be coping with my private demons, however it doesn’t justify the best way I made you’re feeling. And there aren’t sufficient apologies on this planet to make up for it
I ought to have informed you ways I felt. It is best to’ve heard that I beloved you. You deserved to understand how I felt, how I nonetheless really feel. However I couldn’t bear to open up like this, to make myself so weak. And now I’ve to dwell with the implications.
I do know I broke your coronary heart. And I do know you possibly can’t belief me — you’ve mentioned so your self. Reality be informed, I can’t blame you. If I used to be on the receiving finish of my actions, I wouldn’t wish to have something to do with myself.
However you confirmed up, such as you all the time have, with hesitance and ache in your eyes that shattered me to items. I do know I can’t change what I’ve finished and what I’ve not mentioned, however I hope that you just consider my phrases after I say I by no means meant to harm you. In truth, that was the very last thing I’ve ever meant to do.
I don’t know the place we’re going to go from right here, however it’s essential that you already know that you’ve by no means left my thoughts. Via the ups and downs in my life, relationships, strikes, and misplaced friendships, you had been all the time behind my head. And I’m pretty sure that you’ll keep there without end.
As a result of the reality is that I’ve all the time beloved you. And it doesn’t matter what occurs, I believe I all the time will.