Certainly one of my largest goals in life is to have my very own TedTalk. If you realize me personally, this may come as a shock: I’m often the quietest one in a dialog, I sweat throughout job interviews, and my coronary heart typically races on the considered making small discuss with cashiers once I’m shopping for groceries. In our new period of Zoom calls, I desire to maintain my background lighting dim in order that I can casually lean again into the darkness when my face inevitably turns shiny crimson.
Regardless of all of this, I need to have a TedTalk. For somebody who has been described as “painfully shy,” I desperately need to be seen. I need to stand on that stage and be filmed for an viewers far larger than the variety of individuals filling the auditorium round me. I need to share some deep knowledge that adjustments individuals for the higher and encourage them with my story. I need to give among the finest TedTalks individuals have ever heard. The issue is, I’ve completely no concept what it might be about. Partly, it is because I don’t actually know what I need my life to be about. Even at 24 years outdated, I’m nonetheless attempting to determine who I’m.
Alongside my journey of self-discovery, I’ve usually heard recommendation about honoring your true self, discovering the passions that gentle you up, and listening to your coronary heart. That is all nice recommendation. However for somebody like me, the issue is that the items of my coronary heart are continuously at conflict with one another. When you’re like me, honoring one aspect of your self can really feel like abandoning one other.
I’ve tried on a variety of completely different passions throughout my life, attempting to construct myself an atmosphere the place each piece of me can develop. The lengthy checklist of issues that I’ve thought I used to be destined for embrace being a singer, a tour information, an actress, a music therapist, a counselor, and a researcher. I wasn’t horrible at any of them. In truth, I’ve been fairly good at a variety of them. However should you’re an overachiever like me, you’ve most likely felt the identical manner as I do: You’re good at a variety of issues, however by no means fairly adequate. You may be fairly good at one thing, you may actually take pleasure in it, however should you’re not the best possible at it, it should not be what you’re meant to do.
Regardless of happening so many alternative paths, I nonetheless haven’t discovered one which leads me to the place I need to be. I nonetheless don’t actually know the place that even is. In all honesty, I nonetheless don’t know precisely what I’m meant to do. However I do understand how I need my life to really feel. The completely different paths I’ve taken all have a standard thread that ties them collectively: I simply need to really feel linked to different individuals, and I need them to really feel linked to me.
I need my life to really feel like a TedTalk that is ready to attain tens of millions of individuals, that helps them to really feel much less alone, that conjures up somebody to make the day of a stranger just a bit bit higher. I need to really feel like I’m in a position to make a distinction within the lives of individuals I haven’t meant but. I need to encourage individuals to be just a bit bit kinder to one another, and to be loads kinder to themselves.
Possibly you learn this text since you wished an indication. I’ve waited for indicators, too. I’ve waited for inspiration to lastly strike, for an indication to inform me what my life’s function is. I’ve waited for the day to come back the place I do one thing that’s worthy of getting a TedTalk devoted to it. Possibly you continue to desire a clear minimize reply on tips on how to discover your life’s function—I don’t have that for you. Discovering that reply will probably be as much as you. I do, nevertheless, have a query that may aid you begin: How would you like your life to really feel, and what tiny step can you’re taking in your journey towards that feeling?
For me, at the moment, that one tiny step was writing to you. Writing this text has introduced me one tiny step additional alongside on my journey than I used to be yesterday. I hope that studying it may act as a catalyst to your journey, too.